Holding my umbrella in one hand, I swing my messenger bag over my shoulder, then grapple with the box of hardcovers from last night’s event (sigh, still 11 of the original dozen left) and jam it under my other arm.

Gripping my coffee with my third hand, I duck into the drizzle and scurry across the street. Puddles. That hole in the sole of my left shoe, it begins to leak.

With 15 minutes to spare before my reading, I stumble into the shop. “Hi,” I sputter, sweat erupting on my brow. “I’m your author tonight.” My sock is wet and I desperately need to pee. Here I am, I think to myself. Living the glamorous dream of the author on book tour. Exactly as I pictured it.

Not that I am complaining. I have been fortunate. My first book, Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: An Epic Quest for Reality Among Role Players, Online Gamers, and Other Dwellers of Imaginary Realms, has been selling decently since it came out in September. It’s garnered more than its fair share of media coverage, mostly positive reviews, and kind feedback from readers. But before that reading at the charmingly-rickety indie Bay Area bookstore, I was feeling a little sorry for myself. That event was number 37 in my 60-stop, self-designed promotional tour of bookstores, geek conventions, game shops, book festivals, writing conferences, reading series, libraries, universities, high schools and book groups. East coast, South, Midwest, West coast. I had been on and off the road all autumn, doing between two to four events per week for three months. All told, I racked up some 2,500 miles on my 1997 Jetta. By the time I hit California just before Thanksgiving, the tour was beginning to feel like a slog — necessary, imperative, but a slog nonetheless.

I had to psych myself up for that night in San Francisco. I read in a tiny nook between the stacks to a crowd of six. One audience member was the events manager. Another was a woman I’d met the night before at another reading at a hipster bar on the other side of town. I sold two books. A disaster? Not quite. At least it wasn’t like Chicago (three audience members), or that big fat zero in Chattanooga.

Is the book tour dead? It’s true that the lavish, publisher-funded, four-star hotel tour with handler, driver and copious bowls of M&Ms (green ones carefully plucked) is over. With publishers facing woefully depleted publicity staffs and budgets, and the culture’s current focus on ebooks, the Internet and social media, one wonders if the old-fashioned reading tour is even worthwhile. But IMHO, for the savvy author, a trains, planes and automobiles book tour should be an essential element of your many-pronged book promotion strategy. You may not always be able to track the effects (and book sales) on a Return On Investment pie chart, but hitting the road can produce unexpected results. Herewith, collected in one of my saner states of mind, are some thoughts and advice gleaned from my book tour binge — one that is, six months later, still rolling.

It’s all about you. No one will love your book more than you do, not even your mother. You are responsible for driving the engine, and making sure your tour happens. Be proactive and find out what you can expect from your publisher and/or publicist.

Carve out time. Try to take two to three months off, minimum, or try to get part-time leave from your job. Try to free up three to five day time slots for road trips. For as long as you can, make your book your number one priority.

Plan ahead. Begin booking your book tour at least four months in advance of your book’s pub date. Some stops (book festivals, for example) require even more advance notice. Many venues only want to host you when your book is “new” — within three months of being published.

Work the personal touch. Your publicist might want to set up your tour, but be sure to be involved in the planning. Sometimes, I found contacting events managers and editors at newspapers and magazines myself, particularly in smaller markets, often worked better than my publicist’s efforts.

Don’t break the bank. A book tour is an investment in your career, particularly if you’re a first time author. Decide how much of your own money you are willing to spend — $1,000? $3,000? $5,000? But after a certain point, you’re just throwing money down the toilet.

Push your publisher. Express your enthusiasm to your publisher and tell them what you are willing to do. They won’t have millions to lease you a Lear jet, but they might meet you half way. Once I announced by four-month road trip juggernaut, my publisher covered some of my air travel and train travel tickets, paid convention entry fees and booth rentals, and reimbursed me for local car trips.

Think outside the bookstore. Are there book groups, trade shows, and speaking engagements where you can appear as an expert in a topic related to your book, be it fiction or non-fiction? Moderating a panel, visiting a high school and getting your name in a conference program can be just as important as a traditional reading. At one convention, I manned a booth for four days, talked to hundreds of people, handed out a pile of postcards, and sold seven cartons of my book. (Note: self-published authors will be looked upon skeptically by bookstores; instead, work the speaking/convention circuit.)

Start local. Your local bookstores, schools, institutions and conventions are your hub. Get to know bookstores within an hour’s drive of your home. Meet the booksellers. Be nice. Support them. Wherever you go, visit other bookstores, introduce yourself, sign stock and/or get them to stock your book. Those “signed copy” stickers help sales.

Ask allies. Where do you know people? Where have you lived before? In what cities can your friends pack the house? Where can you sleep for free? Plan your tour around these stops, tell your friends far in advance, and let them know their support is crucial.

Cultivate champions. I attribute my best events in unfamiliar towns to complete strangers who “got” my book, championed it, and were excited to beat the bushes. One Milwaukee bookseller used Facebook, mailings and flyers to attract audience members, and got a local gaming shop to advertise the event in exchange for distributing coupons at my reading. If a bookstore seems lukewarm about your book, don’t expect them to go the extra mile.

Be gimmicky. Turn your events into more than readings, and advertise your twist. I began many of my readings with a trivia contest and awarded prizes like T-shirts and trinkets to those who answered questions correctly. Other events incorporated skits, demonstrations and special guests.

Be flexible. Have an all-purpose Powerpoint presentation with relevant photos loaded on a Flashdrive, in case your event ends up being a slide-lecture on stage in front of 500 people. That said, if three souls show up, step away from the podium, circle your chairs and turn your reading into a discussion. In a high traffic venue like a convention, a reading may not make sense. Pitch yourself to lecture and be a panelist on a variety of topics.

Be prepared. Assemble an easy-to-pack kit of postcards, a banner or big poster, bookstands, flyers, business cards, a “Meet the Author” sign, and at least half a dozen books that all fits into your luggage. Usually, bookstores and other hosts took care of book sales, but you’ll want a few books on you at all times in case you need to make sales from your suitcase or trunk of your car.

Size doesn’t (always) matter. If 40 folks show up at your reading, wonderful. But more likely, it’s going to be 15, or seven, or four. But don’t despair: your event was (hopefully) listed in the bookstore’s newsletter, events calendars, and local media. That means more people who will hear about your book. Besides, not everyone who buys books cares to meet the author. Every appearance is an opportunity for a story to be written about you.

Be helpful. Create a boilerplate press release and poster that you can customize (or have your publicist do this) and offer to send a month ahead of time to event hosts. Post a headshot and downloadable press kit on your website. Prepare short, medium and long bios and book synopses, and excerpted “greatest hits” press clips.

Network and publicize. If you have friends in high places, or know folks at media outlets, whether New York or your old hometown, contact them. Use Facebook and Twitter; Yahoo, Google and Meet Up groups (who might propose your event for an outing); and your own newsletter to create buzz. Don’t be shy. Leave no stone unturned.

Remove the self. Being on book tour teaches you to be Zen, to exorcise the demon of the ego. In other words, don’t equate audience size with love for you or your work. Let “It’s not about the book. It’s not about me” became your talk-me-down-from-the-ledge mantra. Otherwise, the nightly heartbreak will wreck you.

Expect silver linings. Remember my goose egg in Chattanooga? Bummer, but I got local radio and TV coverage that opened other doors later. At another “disappointing” reading, I made a contact for a potential speaking gig at a local college. You never know who you’ll meet.

Give yourself a break. Go for broke, but also plan downtime. Don’t exhaust yourself. After a doing a couple weeks of Mon-Tues-Wed-Thurs events, I wish I’d given myself more time to recharge my batteries.

Have no regrets. Be realistic about what time you can spend, then approach your book tour giving it your all. For me, the idea was to push myself, and keep putting myself out there. Once the tour had wound down, I didn’t want any regrets. In fact, I slept well, not only from exhausting, but from the knowledge I’d done all one author could do to give my book a fighting chance, which I knew it deserved.

Ethan Gilsdorf is a freelance journalist, poet, critic, editor and teacher. A regular contributor to The New York Times, Boston Globe and Psychology Today, he leads workshops and seminars at Grub Street and Emerson College. He’s the author of the travel memoir-pop culture investigation Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks: An Epic Quest for Reality Among Role Players, Online Gamers, and Other Dwellers of Imaginary Realms. Read more at www.ethangilsdorf.com.

Tags: audience, author, authors, book promotion, book signings, book tour, bookstore, gaming, geeks, gilsdorf, gimmicks, marketing, presentations, promtion, publishing, radio promotion, warcraft, writer